From the Alphabet Series: E

Take it from me:
There is no glee
greater for thee
than missing your knees
when stopping to pee
behind a tree,
where no one can see
your naked wee weee.


© badpoet

From the Alphabet Series: H

Hirsute Harridan
Horrific Howling Hooker
Hustles her Heels, round.


© badpoet

From the Alphabet Series: W

Said Pretzel Gee Worthless,
wielding his withered Wand:

It’s weakilated, worryatin’,
and to women
won’t respond!

I wish a worthy wanker
to woodify and wow
the Wookie women
in my world.
I need a whopper now!

I’ve squeezed on every part of it.
I’ve pulled it hard, and jerked -
Often enough
to know it’s broke.
Why won’t my willy work?


© badpoet

From the Alphabet Series: T

Never tired
of tormenting others
with her
tedious tirades,
the thickset
toothless trollop
plies her trade.

Thrown over
by a truckload
of testicle-clad
terrestrials,
who threw up
at the sight
of her turgid tummy,
she toddles
down the darkened streets.

Trolling
for her next trick,
uncontrolled flatus
trumpets her travels
as she trespasses.


© badpoet

From the Alphabet Series: V

V is for Vagina
Vintage Valentīna
Varicose-Veined
and anything but devīna.

No Vaseline Needed,
her Vault is Vast,
a Vague flabby Victim
of Veterans Past.

It's cleansed with Vinegar,
and scented with Vicks,
Vanilla, and Violets,
and been cleared of ticks.

A Viscid Voyage
for the desperate and drunk,
access to her Vessel
a Vulgar slam dunk

© badpoet

...a valentine

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